Let's look at the things that would be awesome excuses for my absence:
I got cast for a TV show that whisked me away to a far away island that had very little internet service.
I met the man of my dreams and have been so busy in love I couldn't write.
I was tragically struck by a yellow cab during rush hour as I helped an old lady cross the road and I have been sitting in a hospital room for two months.
I'm the new bachelorette and my identity had to be kept a secret.
The pope needed a new assistant.
I entered witness protection because I am testifying for a really big case that can change the way drug trafficking happens in the country.
I adopted an orphan and have been nursing them to a better life.
I was walking down the street and Ryan Gosling saved me from being hit by a garbage truck, so I have now spent all my free time trying to find him and thank him.
I'm now the newest member of Iron Chef America.
Really, I have just been busy. but things have happened! and I am going to share them with you! Right after I take a nap. or do my laundry. or grade some papers. or well, I'll try harder.