Subway Code

In each and every facat of life there is a code. Men choose to follow a man code while women have a girl code. Children follow a school dress code and doctors have an ethics code. This code defines a set of rules that everyone follows not because you have to, but because it it the right thing to do in most cases. I am hereby introducing the Subway Code. Most people already follow this code even though it isn't posted anywhere. This set of rules is the key to a successful, drama free, subway ride.

Rule #1 - If there are plenty of empty seats on the subway, DO NOT sit right next to me. Seriously, if there is space for you to leave a seat between us, then please, leave a seat between us because I do not want to rub thighs with you for the next 5 stops unless I have to.

Rule #2 - If the subway is full and an elderly or handicapped person enter the train car, give them your seat. If you yourself are more capable of balancing, then it is the courteous thing to do. The last thing we all want to see is the old lady with a walker falling down when the train jolts to halt.

Rule #3 - DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. ever. It is creepy and makes people think you are either going to start a conversation with them or rob them.

Rule #4 - If someone enters the train and simply shoves a cup in your face asking for money, ignore them. There are a lot of people who ask for money on the subway and I would suggest giving money (if you absolutely feel it necessary) to those who at least perform or sing for you.  I once saw a boy moonwalk down the subway car while we were moving. He deserved a dollar. The man who just shakes the cup a little louder to make sure I heard it over my IPOD, will be ignored.

Rule #5 - The subway is not the place for the following activities: excessive loud converstaions, fights, crocheting, make out sessions, purse organization, makeup application, nail painting, hair braiding, yoga, or trio singing.

Rule #6 - If you choose to partake in any of the above actions, rule #3 is negated and I will stare at you. Yes you doing yoga on the train car, I will stare at you and wonder how you could not find a better place in the entire city to find zen.

Rule #7 - DO NOT START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE. ever. This is a lot like rule number 3. Just plain creepy.

Rule #8 - I really just want to say that if you ride the subway, use common sense.  Move towards the center of the car when a bajillion and three people needs to get on at the next stop. Also, hold on to a rail because it is not fun, but is funny, when you fall.

These are what I like to call the Subway code. I am sure that there are like 300 more rules that I could add, but if I gave away all of my secrets then I would have nothing to laugh about when I am in fact riding the subway.  Here is a poster that I saw last night riding home, it literally made me laugh out loud, breaking one of my own rules.