Sep 13, 2011

Subway Code

In each and every facat of life there is a code. Men choose to follow a man code while women have a girl code. Children follow a school dress code and doctors have an ethics code. This code defines a set of rules that everyone follows not because you have to, but because it it the right thing to do in most cases. I am hereby introducing the Subway Code. Most people already follow this code even though it isn't posted anywhere. This set of rules is the key to a successful, drama free, subway ride.


Rule #1 - If there are plenty of empty seats on the subway, DO NOT sit right next to me. Seriously, if there is space for you to leave a seat between us, then please, leave a seat between us because I do not want to rub thighs with you for the next 5 stops unless I have to.

Rule #2 - If the subway is full and an elderly or handicapped person enter the train car, give them your seat. If you yourself are more capable of balancing, then it is the courteous thing to do. The last thing we all want to see is the old lady with a walker falling down when the train jolts to halt.

Rule #3 - DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. ever. It is creepy and makes people think you are either going to start a conversation with them or rob them.

Rule #4 - If someone enters the train and simply shoves a cup in your face asking for money, ignore them. There are a lot of people who ask for money on the subway and I would suggest giving money (if you absolutely feel it necessary) to those who at least perform or sing for you.  I once saw a boy moonwalk down the subway car while we were moving. He deserved a dollar. The man who just shakes the cup a little louder to make sure I heard it over my IPOD, will be ignored.

Rule #5 - The subway is not the place for the following activities: excessive loud converstaions, fights, crocheting, make out sessions, purse organization, makeup application, nail painting, hair braiding, yoga, or trio singing.

Rule #6 - If you choose to partake in any of the above actions, rule #3 is negated and I will stare at you. Yes you doing yoga on the train car, I will stare at you and wonder how you could not find a better place in the entire city to find zen.

Rule #7 - DO NOT START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE. ever. This is a lot like rule number 3. Just plain creepy.

Rule #8 - I really just want to say that if you ride the subway, use common sense.  Move towards the center of the car when a bajillion and three people needs to get on at the next stop. Also, hold on to a rail because it is not fun, but is funny, when you fall.

These are what I like to call the Subway code. I am sure that there are like 300 more rules that I could add, but if I gave away all of my secrets then I would have nothing to laugh about when I am in fact riding the subway.  Here is a poster that I saw last night riding home, it literally made me laugh out loud, breaking one of my own rules.


5 comments:

  1. You make me laugh out loud!!! I love you. Mom

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  2. Lmaooo I loved this, hun! I recently moved to the city from Long Island and I totally agree with everything you posted! There's definitely subway etiquette that I think people should know about. I almost broke rule #7 the other day though when I saw this girl with cupcakes and wanted to ask her where she got them from. Luckily, I got a hold of myself lol.

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  3. Well when I come to visit in 17 days you are going to have to help me remember all these rules. Last time I was in NYC i totally took out 4 people on the subway... and that was sober...Lets not let that happen again :)

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  4. I've only been on a subway once in my entire life, but I feel like these rules should be common sense. And yet people break them all the time? Ah, New York. New York.

    ~SP

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  5. I agree with most of these, although over the past few years I've become more accepting of random conversation and eye contact.

    I talk about my guide to subway etiquette here: http://losttogain.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-guide-to-transportation.html

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